


Immovable Force

by kwallox



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 16:57:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17349038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwallox/pseuds/kwallox
Summary: You’ve known her since you were in kindergarten. She came into your life with a blinding smile and kind eyesBlair and Serena. Serena and Blair. An exploration of friendship, buried love and jealousy.





	Immovable Force

Serena was a thunderstorm. She raged wild, her thrilling laughter infectious and consuming. Every moment you spent with was rapid, with the constant feeling that something was about to erupt. Serena was a wildfire. She came quickly and spread rapidly, impacting on every aspect of your life. When she went away, every inch of your body felt the agony and devastation she left in her wake. Serena was the sun. She lit up your entire body, leaving you feeling warm and safe in her glow. She laughed and you felt your entire world fall into place.    

 

* * *

 

You’ve known her since you were in kindergarten. She came into your life with a blinding smile and kind eyes. Within a week she was a constant and immovable force in your life. You couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t with you. It was incomprehensible to think that she wasn’t there the minute you entered this world.

She is sneaking into both of your mother’s wardrobes and trying on their shoes. She is looking for fairies in your grandparents vast garden, and building them elaborate houses. She is running down to the kitchen during parties to steal cupcakes. She is starting elementary school with a smile and assurance, because as long as you were with her you could face anything.

You grew up together. She is your constant and most loyal companion. You had a link in a way that could never be severed. As you grew up, every moment you spent with her was a reckoning. She consumed you, and you’ve never felt more alive then when you were with her. She took you to Paris and you got drunk in a night club for the first time. She took you to the beach and you flashed men on jet skis. She was there when you had your first kiss with your crush Nate, and for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, you had to hold back tears as you squealed with excitement.

 

* * *

 

Georgina Sparks came into your life when you were in the 8th grade. With the perfect smile and the perfect words you watched her attach herself to your best friend. Slowly, over months, years, she hedged her way into both of your lives, quietly and savagely ripping your best friend away.

Georgina dressed her differently. See through shirts, skirts that barely covered her body, low cut dresses. Georgina styled her differently. Her face flawless as it got covered with more and more make-up, her beautiful hair perfectly and intricately styled. _You need to look good if you want men to want you_ Georgina said once with a wicked smile. You’ve never hated anyone more.      

She started to come to your house in the early hours of the morning with a smile, whispering that her mother believed she had been here. She came with adventures featuring her new friend Georgina, stories of alcohol and bars and men with wedding bands on their finger. Sometimes you wondered if any of these men knew she was barely 15. You wondered if they cared enough to ask.

You watched as the stories of alcohol turned into stories of drugs. You watched as your best friend, the one you loved more than you could comprehend, became someone you didn’t recognise. Georgina brought more friends, more people to use her. They had different stories then yours, different parties, different adventures. Jokes you weren’t apart of.

You went home at the end of the day with tears in your eyes and a loneliness in your stomach.

 

* * *

 

Your friends spread rumours, calling her horrible names, making up vicious lies about STIs and pregnancies. You would smile with tight lips and whisper back about men with wedding bands. When Gossip Girl made their first post no one noticed. Two weeks later the website spread throughout the school. Girls would giggle in the hallways, whispering and showing each other their phones. There were posts filled with the stories about men with wedding bands. You felt a hollowness in your stomach.

When Gossip Girl made their first post no one noticed. Two weeks later you sent your first message to Gossip Girl and people noticed.

In the aftermath she laughed and made witty remarks. You never saw her fazed, the rumours only served to embolden her. The more people talked, the more she did drugs and drank and slept with men. The more stories she came to tell you, the more adventures she had. You told her you were too busy, you had to concentrate on school and grades if you were going to get into Yale. You ignored the emptiness in her eyes.  

People from school started to look at her like she was a God. They were in awe of her very presence, excited just to have her talk to them. Girls started to imitate her, dressed like her, spoke like her. Boys started to come up to her and put their hands on her body, on her ass and on her breasts. She would swat them away with a witty one liner and a smile. The boys would laugh with their friends and look at her with hungry eyes. Your boyfriend, Nate, looked at her like she was from heaven. The jealousy was ferocious in your stomach.

The adults in her life started to blame her. The principal called her into the office and told her she was wearing too revealing clothes, it was distracting to boys. The teachers told her she shouldn’t act the way she does or she’ll end up pregnant and only have herself to blame. Her mother called her a slut and threatened to have her sent away where she couldn’t embarrass the family anymore. You rolled your eyes when she complained to you.

It was only because you knew her so well that you saw the fakeness of her smile. You noticed the cracks in her perfect skin, and all feeling drain from her face. You knew she was suffocating from all of her pain, and you did nothing to save her.

You felt it coming before it happened. For weeks you had a sickness in your stomach, a gnawing that it was building up to something. Something so devastating that it would destroy you.

 

* * *

 

She severed the link. One day she did not turn up for school. You spent the day with relief because without her here for even one day people looked at you instead of her. But you could tell there was something different, something in you had been irreparably broken. All day you felt like you were drowning, an unbearable pain in the pit of your stomach.

You called her mother frantically that afternoon. There was to be no more men, no more stories, no more jealously. Without warning, she was gone. 

 

* * *

 

Serena was your bestfriend. You’ve known her since you were in kindergarten. You’ve been in awe of her. Her infectious laughter and cool wit made you feel like your world began and ends with her. You’ve been jealous of her. You’ve felt like screaming as you watched her slowly gain everything you wanted, as she turned away from you for other friends, other people. She has made you feel angry and sad and joyous all at once. She has made you feel special and worthless. Serena was your best friend. You’ve loved her since you were in kindergarten.


End file.
